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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Jay Dee's LiveJournal:
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|Thursday, June 15th, 2006|
|OH no not her again
No no dears, I'm not coming back to silly old Live Journal :P As if I had the time!!
I was just reading through old entries and laughing at myself. I'm so glad I TOTALLY HAVE NOT grown up since then!
For those of you who I don't know in real life, Curtis went bye bye and Jason has been my steady boyfriend for over 4 months. Woo and yay. I'm also incredibly impulsive and footloose again. Well... I guess the word would be "immature" Man was I ever a dumbass last summer.... O_O
(i do blog on my msn space once in a blue moon if any of you actually read these things. http://jaydeelady.spaces.msn.com
|Thursday, February 10th, 2005|
No no dears, I'm not coming back to silly old Live Journal :P As if I had the time!!
I was just reading through old entries and laughing at myself. I'm so glad I've grown up since then! For those of you who I don't know in real life, Anthony went bye bye, Jason went bye bye and Curtis has been my steady boyfriend for over 4 months. Woo and yay. I'm also incredibly tamed and boring now. Well... I guess the word would be "mature" Man was I ever guy crazy last summer.... O_O
|Thursday, August 19th, 2004|
|My (final?) entry
I'd like to clear up a few things on my final entry (*clears up throat melodramatically*)
TOP 10 QUESTIONS PEOPLE KEEP ASKING ME: RESPONSES
1) Yes, I have given up live journal.
2) Why did I quit LJ? Cuz ppl say things they don't mean, and I've ended up losing friends because of this site, so no I don't read yours or anyone elses anymore.
3) The Mexico Missions Trip was, indeed, incredible.
4) Yes, Curtis and I still regularly go on dates, and no we are not going steady yet.
5) I am doing fine and dandy.
6) My job is at a pill packaging company.
7) Sure, I'd love to see you sometime. Phone me?
8) Yes, we are prolly going to have a get together at the beginning of september, and no I won't forget to contact you.
9) No, Anthony and I no longer see eachother.
10) I'm sorry I haven't talk to you, I've been super busy.
There you have it! I actually am sorry I've been so busy.. anyhow I'm dying of a fever so I will go now- possibly forever? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNnnnnNnnNn! Please, don't weep. And no, I wasnt trying to be sarcastic with the above responses (most of the time), it was my twisted sense of humor. I still love ya'll and know you ask questions cuz you care. I just got tired of answering the same ones :P
Please keep in touch!
JAYDEE Current Mood: sick
|Tuesday, July 20th, 2004|
|Why am I only here when I'm upset?
So my life.. is actually pretty happy, sweet and simple. I'm afraid it's only when something kinda drags me down a bit I write in this journal. I guess I need to count my blessings.
Reasons Why I'm Blessed
* I have a great family
* I have friends who love me
* I've got a job
* My acne is clearing up
* I'm going to Mexico to help the needy
* I can SING!
* I got excellent marks this school year
* I'm in Beyond the Blue this summer
* I can still dance
* I'm not ugly
* I most likely dont have "ass-mar"
* I'm outgrowing my "psycho"-glycemia
* My parents are gonna help me buy a cowboy hat
* Jesus loves me :)
Reasons Why I'm Writing In This Journal Right Now
* I am coughing and hacking my head off
* I may have no companionship camping this weekend
* My mind has blown a fuse over trying to get the male mind
* Casual dating isn't as simple as one thinks it is
* Saving money for Europe is difficult
* I'm not getting as many hours at work
* I can't sort out my feelings for Anthony
Might hang w/ Karen tomorrow.. I dont have to work 'til 4. It's retarded how these little things pull me down when I have so much other stuff in life to be happy about. Well, I guess I'll sleep on it, for though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning
Oooh WHY do I let things get me down? I WILL be joyful and sing unto the Lord, even if a few things aren't perfect! Nothing ever is, anyway, and I just have to go on!
Oh I will dance, I will sing, to be glad for my King, and nothing Lord is hindering this passion in my soul. And I will become even more undignified than this (some may think it's foolishness) and I will become even more undignified than this (lay my pride by my side and HEY) Current Mood: indescribable
|Sunday, July 18th, 2004|
|Shattering of Dreams
Just when I finally have begun to outgrow my hypoglycemia, once again I get hit by a new health disaster.
Lately I've been coughing and coughing. It began in May, and I began to find I couldn't do my vocal breathing excercises without coughing- I thought I had a cold.
I took 3 weeks off, pretty much, from heavy vocal practicing- and I resumed a few weeks ago. I had a horrible cold for about a month, and I kept coughing afterward, so I blamed that on a cold as well....
So basically I've been coughing for almost 3 months.
It's been terrible the past two weeks, and the past few days I've just be coughing and coughing, a few times til I couldnt breathe. Tonight Daddy and I were practicing a new song for the band that I'm going to sing... like 3 quarters of an hour into practice, I started coughing. I was already annoyed because 10 minutes before I started wheezing while I sung. I couldn't stop coughing. I coughed til I was tingling, breathing shallowy and things were kinda getting ...different. I could NOT breathe.
Luckily mom still had an old asthma puffer and it straightened me out. That was freaking scary. I had an asthma attack and I have to see a doctor.
SO WHAT ABOUT MY SINGING CAREER?! I could just cry and cry, but I can't because I won't let myself. Perhaps I can work around this handicap.. but breathing is my main tool in singing. It's like a marathon runner developing a knee defect. I hope I can work this, oh Dear Lord, please HELP ME. Singing is my life.
I had a whole bunch of stuff to talk about.. but I'm too depressed right now to get into anything. I did have alot of fun... up til now. Oh, and Curtis is still missing in action. I'm sure his computer is out again or he's super busy- but a phonecall would be nice :(
I feel so alone.
I wish Nina was home.
I need a hug. Current Mood: crushed
|Friday, July 16th, 2004|
|Not even your freak parade..
SooooOooOoOo... Jenny girl is having her fun times and laughs for the summer :)
Euh- kinda losing track of time.. this week is going pretty fast since I'm not working in it. Have to work monday. boooooo *thbp*
I dont really remember what I did wednesday. Uh. I'm having a weird memory blank. Perhaps I was.. captured by aliens?? I have no idea. I'm sure I had fun at it though. Tuesday night I went to Harrison.
Thursday we picked up Keith and... went to Harrison. We babysat together too... oh yeah. And wednesday Joseph came home!! We jammed til late and then watched Finding Nemo. Mine mine mine mine mine. Cheyyyaa...
Today Sara and Keith and I went to Harrison and hiked to Sandy Cove (me in sandals again, not learning a lesson :P). We even did some like.. weird routes, and climbed the cliff path thing there. EE scary but fun :) Yesh. And we waded and stuff... and looked at the festival... and daddy promised to help me buy a cowboy hat.
Then we came to my house to relax, but we were hungry and foodless, so Bree was all "i wanna do something" so we told her if she brought us to a pizza place, yeah sure! She was psycho, and it kinda rubbed off on me. I'm feeling weird. Could be all that cheese. Yum cheese. Right. So my brain is not functioning very well. I've been partying at my guild on neopets like crazy. Yyyeeeaaah... fun times. I've been having so much funnnnnnn....
Oh yeah, saw Susie at the pizza place and I attacked her. I missed that girl. I must phone her one of these days...
Euh. Tomorrow: getting rid of keith, seeing Jody and the kids, going to costco, im hoping to get to harrison, euh. Speaking of which, I haven't had a date in ages and stupid Anthony got a job. Ages is a whole week. The end of my blatherings. I am tired.
THE END. Current Mood: jubilant
|Tuesday, July 13th, 2004|
|RUN BUNNY RUN!
LOL my cat just caught a bunny- lucky thing daddy rescued it. I just saw it go flying down the field. It was the same freaking size as that silly kitty!
Karen and I aborted our outdoorsy plan and made ooey gooey chocolate cupcakes instead (they were just slathered
in my never fail fudge frosting..mmmmmm). We also went to castle fun park. I finally got to play DDR! I have never played a game so exhuasting, humiliating, and confusing. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!
We also went on the virtual roller coaster after the DDR machine jammed.. Karen and I staggered out a bit green :P We sure did have some fun!
Sara cant sleep over... *sobs*.. that sucks. Dad and I went to the Harrison Fest for "The Bills". They were SO
GOOD! They were a mix of everything you can think of... a bit of country, jazz, classical, hillbilly, bluegrass, and just enough celtic to bring me scottish roots out- I just wanted to dance, cry, and sing wildly all at once.
I really want to go back to the festival tomorrow, and I want to go up to where the youth group is camping and hang out for a bit. Alas that I do not have a car... or a driver for it! Current Mood: happy
EeeeeeEEEEE LOL it's storming right now.. so much for me and Karen's hike! We'll do something still... dunno what yet. Sarie might sleep over tonight after karen leaves for work, once she's
off work herself. Coolio.
Gosh I hope the electricity doesn't go out til I'm done updating! It did last time. I was chatting to Meg, and she came over when our computers died: "MSN cut out cuz the power is out at my house! Is it out here too? says she. "yes" says I. "then come over to my house and we'll watch movies!" replies the blond one! hahahahaha.... AHHHHHHHHHHH! scary one there. EEEyiyi. The scary part is my phone doesnt work without power, so ill be home by myself in the dark. Nah.. it's more thunderish than windy. Power prolly wont go... it's actually creepily calm out there. So maybe I'll just be struck by lightening. Nih!
I enjoy scaring myself :)
LOL I have the funniest quote from band practice last night.
Daddy: "Jenn, try not to sing everything so.. country!"
What can I say? I'm a country gal ;)
So karen's coming soon... yada... yada... still havent gotten to the festival... curtis still hasnt phoned... I still havent cleaned out the cupboards... I still havent practiced vocals... sarie and I still havent made concrete plans...still havent made that cheesecake...
The organization of my life is astounding!
Right. End of update. update ends here
-=here=- Current Mood: scared
|Monday, July 12th, 2004|
Just woke up (with a headache)... I had a dream that Mr. Biela's socials exam was conducted like the Hogwart's Defence Against the Dark Arts exam.. we had to climb through an old time recreated mine shaft and get past sparks and stuff.
2 announcements: MEG IS HOME! NINA PHONED ME LAST NIGHT!
Anyhow, so I have to go to town today to get some sheets notarized for Mexico.. then I'm babysitting, and then I have band practice. I'm also babysitting wednesday and thursday 2:30- 4:30/5:00. Great. So much for lying on a beach. I doubt I'll get to see anymore of the festival now... I don't think Mom would let me go to the beach by myself in the evening :( Ah well.... it was cool on Sunday- the whole hour of it I enjoyed.
Karen and I are doing something tomorrow... not sure what, yet, but I want to do something healthy.
Spent all of yesterday evening working on a new webpage for my site- out of pity for a few of my closer guy friends having trouble thinking up date ideas for their girlfriends. Johan and I had so much fun thinking some of these up! I adore the double date games, they look like so much fun. If I ever get a steady, I'm so doing them!!
The site:http://www.geocities.com/sophisticated_jaydee/dating Current Mood: okay
|Saturday, July 10th, 2004|
|Alhough Me Eyes Be Droopy
Although me eyes be droopy
And me brain a sorta loopy
Still I kick and fight
Be it late at night...
To in me journal write!
(but this poem is a fright)
Just ignore my poetical flight above. That was inspired and written in about 5 seconds. That is also the worst thing I have ever spewed. My coffee buzz has worn off and I am so tired I'm not even going to sign on MSN *yawn*
So what's new in Jenn world? Well, I got a message on the phone from Nina- and believe me, I almost cried, I'm missing her so much. Speaking of missing people, the Mullers return tomorrow night! Woo and yay!
I just got back from doing a concert at House Of James with (once again) Surrender. We're definitely getting better- Daddy and I are going to start working on getting me on harmonies and a few songs. I do enjoy performing, but I absolutely adore it when I get to sing!
Last night Curtis and I went to decades and then caught the late night show of Terminal (great movie by the way.. it has a sort of Forrest Gump taste to it). Curtis was unbelievable. I have never seen him be so sweet and polite and...just wow. I think I got a glimpse of the man God has intended him to grow into. The poor dear was exhausted but he was completely selfless and not a bit grumpy. I enjoyed myself immensly. Believe you me, that
was a date
So I got the whole week off from work- our next pill shipment doesnt come until next monday. In the meantime, Harrison Festival of the Arts is going on (Dad and I are going for a bit tomorrow), Tuesday is dedicated to Karen, and on Thursday my cousin Keith from Nova Scotia is coming (!!!!!!) he'll stay for at least
a night... I hope two or three. He's such a sweetie. Anyway, that leaves my week with monday and wednesday free. I half want to just collapse on a sunny beach and sleep all day. Another half of me wants to get out my guitar on this same beach and write some of these songs that have been dying to burst out of me. For once again, I am in a song writing mood, and I intend to catch it by the tail and write a song that will put the Poofter Song to shame!
Anyhow, I am tired, so I will now retire. Two last notes-
1)I want to make a cheese cake.
God Bless! Current Mood: creative
|Wednesday, July 7th, 2004|
Well, Anthony couldn't get a car, so we doubled with Tyrel Boelsma and this girl named Faye. T'was alot of fun- I don't think I've laughed so much or so hard in a looong time. Spiderman was sold out by the time we got to the theatre to buy tickets for the 7 show, so we got tickets for the 9:30 show instead and went to KFC. Anthony was like "Do you want anything" and I said "Uhhhh no..". Then he turned to the lady and ordered me a meal anyway! It was pretty sweet of him, although perhaps that would have annoyed me if I really wasn't actually hungry. Anyhow, after that we went to value village and goofed around. Anthony bought the most ridiculous hat ever!
Spiderman was pretty good, I guess, aside from all the sappy lines :P I really liked Dr. Octopus.. they did a really good job with him.
Even though I had tons of fun, I'm really quite sure now that Anthony isn't the one for me. He's a great friend and all, but... I don't know. Chemistry isn't there. I mean, he was a perfect gentleman, and at least the outing didn't end with him kicking me out of the car and leaving me to find my way home with the other couple- but I don't know. Plus Dad and God have been making me feel pretty guilty (trust fathers for that) lately. Dad was all "if he's buying your ticket, it's a date" and "I'm really disappointed in you Jenn for dating a non Christian" ...it makes me feel like crying. I also failed two of my own dating guidelines... #1
being that I'd never date a non Christian, and #2
being that I'd never date someone I hadn't known for more than 2 years. Yeeeeeah.
So aside from my overwhelming sense of guilt, I had alot of fun, even though Anthony doesn't appear to be the "one" for me. It certainly wasn't him I was holding hands with in my dream last night.
I have a migraine, and I have to go to work in about 2 more hours. I actually have a schedule for next week (unlike this week's last second planning) so I might be able to make more time for a social life. I hope my boss remembered to take me off for Wednesday the 14th- Curtis and I were supposed to be going to the Harrison Festival of the Arts, unless he forgot/doesnt care about that as well. If he doesn't phone me soon, I think I'll just have to forget about him. Current Mood: contemplative
|Monday, July 5th, 2004|
So the spiderman 2 offer is down (I think)! I was gonna invite Curtis, but he was being so ungracious and rude that I told Anthony about it and he asked me :) My only misgiving is he IS a non-Christian... but it's only one little date, and he's open to God. Besides, he treats me with much more respect than SOME certain Christian boys I know. Anyway, he's just trying to borrow a car. Hmmm I wonder how this will go?
im so cursed.
World-losers and world-forsakers, on whom the pale moon gleams: We are the movers and shakers of the world for ever, it seems says:
Well, I -am- Prince Charming, you may recall, and as you might have noticed, the prince usually breaks the curse, correct?
Haha.. we'll see!
|First Day At Work
Wow oh wow am *I* ever going to be busy this summer! Jeeminy... ummm yeah. I'm mostly working day shifts (9-4:30/5:00) but I'll be working some nights (4-9:30), mainly when I'm babysitting in the day for Marie. Work was pretty cool, it's weird though, because most of my co workers are adults and talk about going to the pub and stuff. Looks like I can have ALOT of hours if I want 'em- and I DO! I want to go to Europe so bad- actually I AM going to Europe so I have to save!
I really want to see Spiderman 2. Tuesday night is free for me (cuz I'm not working til 10:45 the next day (babysitting- im taking night shift for vitamin place), if anyone is interested in going. I dunno if I should waste anymore money..but I haven't done anything with friends since LAST tuesday.. speaking of which, I told Curtis to phone this week and he hasnt. Well la de da, I feel special! :P
Anyhow, I have band practice now and then work early tomorrow morning. If anyone loves me enough (and is free) to go the movies, e-mail me!
|Friday, July 2nd, 2004|
Hum I just had a revelation on casual dating from Jason. Now I'm a bit confused, because he is right about some things. We've been debating it- ah I dunno. So much for dating HIM- at least this summer! :P Darm. Umm and yeah I don't think my guys mind sharing me and stuff. Uh. LOL I haven't really thought about them. Wow am I getting self centered.. Jase is making me feel selfish. But if a guy cared enough to get jealous they'd ask me steady, right? Or at least tell me they wanted to just date me...Uhh.. actually. Well I know Anthony has told me he is too shy to ask a girl out. GUH! Well no guts no glory! Jeez. This is weird. I'm so confused. *sigh* I wish... I don't know what I wish. I wish this wasn't a problem! And I am NOT going to decide just to not date at all, cuz that defeats the purpose of being 16 and a teenager! Meh I'll just go with the flow for now, and may the best guy win!( Jason's ArgumentCollapse )
Going to Vancouver tomorrow... Joe's B day. Nothing more to say right now, I'm very confounded. Jason has created me a problem. As a final warning he says:
"the the great circle of crap becomes a HUGE circle pretty soon everyone is dating everyone and mormanism starts to set in, and chilliwack becomes the first hick city O_O now do you want to become a hick city?"
Oi. Current Mood: confused
|Thursday, July 1st, 2004|
|Happy Canada Day
My cold still hasn't gone away. GRR nothing worse than a stuffy/runny nose in the summertime! We're going to Hick's Lake today (mom, dad and me) for Canada day. Here's a quick update on stuff:
*Made up my mind to go to Europe with the school. It's gonna be tough, but "where there's a will, there's a way!"
*Found out Anthony wanted to ask me to Grad but he was too shy (grr on guys with no guts!)
*The name of the 6th Harry Potter book was released (Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince)
*Anthony asked me to the movies (meh I don't mind casually dating a variety of guys.. it's not like anyone's asked me steady yet, and I don't plan on getting serious w/ him)
Nothing else really big now.. don't have many big plans at the moment. Work in the way, y'know. Had alot of fun with Curtis on tuesday- watched all of Harry Potter 1 for the first time. Anyhow I'm gonna go for now, I have a great book that bears reading!
|Tuesday, June 29th, 2004|
|A quick update
Kay, well, I'm heading out with Curtis on a picnic in Harrison soon, so I'll make this as snappy as I can:
Nina's leaving for Victoria, and that's totally gonna suck. No more double dates with her and Mark, no more sleep overs, no late night conferences.. with Meg still on vacation, I've only got Sara left for best friend girl talk!
Got a job packaging vitamins. Starts at 9 dollars an hour, goes 9:00-4:30 (half hour unpaid lunch break) and 3 or 4 days a week. Just for the summer, I guess tho, cuz they don't run on evenings or weekends.
Spent stupid yesterday battling the fee line at school, so I hardly have any yearbook signatures. Went to the park/timmies with Curtis after school. Had band practice last night. We're playing at house of James on the 10th if anyone cares.. oh stayed up kinda late last night as well, Curtis would not let me off the phone even tho I was exhausted- ah well :) I have today to recuperate
So the Liberals won a minority government, and can't join with the NDP to get a majority. I would laugh at the scenario if it wasn't for the fact dearest Stephen isn't PM *sigh* Oh well, I bet there'll be re-elections within a year. LONG LIVE THE CONSERVATIVES!
Well, I better fly! Bye all
|Saturday, June 26th, 2004|
Kay, so I'm feeling a bit better this morning but I'm pretty much a ball of disappointment and confusion at the moment. I've got to babysit today in town, which is too bad cuz I was gonna ask Curtis to hang out with me afterward (due to circumstances, I didn't get the chance to ask him..) so now I'll prolly get stuck by myself for about 4 hours. Woo and yay. Talked to Jason til about 1 in the morning.. he made me feel better, although I don't know how. He was just like "people do weird things when they are tired" and that was it. I dunno.
Anthony told me he had a dream about me being mad at him two days ago because *I* had a dream about us holding hands. The creepy part is, I DID have a dream about us holding hands like a few weeks back. Creepy. Really creepy.
So whatever, I have to do stupid stuff and I just feel like crawling in a big hole and pretending I didn't just have the worst date of my life last night, right about now. Yeah so I'm going.
Gawd he had better try and make that up to me! Current Mood: depressed
|Friday, June 25th, 2004|
|I can't do this
Fuck. I just.. I just can't. This is.. I can't. I can't. Why can't things ever just stop hurting me?! The first fricking night I decide to y'know- foolish me- try to enjoy myself and be nice, it turns to be the biggest disaster and.. I can't do this. I can't. I can't I can't I CAN'T! DAMN! I doubt he'll even fucking apologize. kay, I can't do this. I need to talk to someone who'll understand. I'm phoning Jason.
I can't believe I cried in public. I hate myself.
DAMN. No wonder I'm pessimistic. Current Mood: crushed
|Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004|
I can't help but start with a sigh, as once again my head is being crushed by another migraine. GUH! I just want dark...
Babysitting a 3 year old wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm generally not great with little kids, but everything went fine. Cass is adorable, and she reminds me of Boo off of Monsters Inc. Unfortunately, she also talks like Boo and it's up to me to figure out what desgofordadwidinda..da dwoller means (by the way that means "lets go for a ride in the stroller"- I've learnt that much!) Still, it isn't bad at all, and she is very nicely tempered.
In addition to babysitting, could be I'm going to be getting a part time job working for these people who run a sort of in home vitamin company or something. Not exactly sure what it is, but I know it's like counting vitamins and packaging them. Aunti Vi works there, and the daughter of these people is actually a friend of mine from school, Becca. Gotta phone them tonight.
My head is hurting so much, my whole inner being is crying for a hug, ice cap and a backmassage. Unfortunately, the psychoanalist part of me has just said "that covers four of the five love languages- physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and giving of gifts. You are crying out for love everytime you say that!" I don't think I am, really, but that's how my brain has been working now that I'm hooked on that love languages thing. LOL! I'm a weird one, true, and I read into everything, including my own statements.
Kay, so, dying to read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but I'm contemplating what's worse for my poor head-staying online or reading? I half wish someone would phone me, but I don't feel like talking, I feel like being talked to (acts of service, quality time) GUH! LOL this is ridiculous. I need to stop reading into everything I say. Um. Anyway, perhaps I will phone Sara tonight, but I dunno. I don't feel like doing anything with this migraine but crawling into a deep dark hole (no love languages there, I must be anti social) :P
Peace out! Current Mood: lonely